Month: July 2015

Day 14


 Cicely

I don’t know if I ever want to get married again. When I think about marriage, I don’t feel positive things and thus have no desire to do so; however, as I sit in my house healing from surgery, I’m reminded how much easier life would be with a committed partner. Someone who cared so strongly about me and loved me so much so that they can’t stop themselves from making me a priority. Someone who comes to my side even when I say I’m fine, don’t come.  Someone to lean on when times are hard to take some of my burden to help me get through a little easier. Someone who listens and is attentive enough to notice when a little more care may be needed in dealing with me at any particular moment.

Is this a pipe dream? I’m not a simple woman. I need a lot of attention and are what people may call “needy” and “high maintenance”. I’ve been this way my whole life, middle child!, and don’t really see it changing. I’m wondering if maybe I’m just a little too much for one person to handle. Meh, just musing today. Sitting around not doing anything and being stuck inside leads to time just thinking and that’s not generally a good idea for me. I like to stay busy doing things and living life, but I’m stuck here with a broken face trying to mend.

I have a lover. I adore him. We’ve been in a non-exclusive relationship for over 2 years. He’s not capable of supporting me and being the man I need/want. It’s hard and has been hard the past few weeks. I don’t like talking about him much here on this public forum for everyone to see, but it’s relevant to this post. Someday I’ll have to move on from him to give myself the chance to find someone a bit more compatible. I have very deep feelings for this man and it’s so sad that it just isn’t the right fit.

Once my nose has healed and I can be a bit more active, I need to get back to focusing on my life, career, health, fitness, and everything. This will help. For now, I eat ice cream!

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Days 10, 11 & 12


 Cicely

The past few days have been hard. My face doesn’t feel that great still, of course, and as of Friday I’m having surgery tomorrow to get my nose reset. I’m going into another week of not being able to do much and having to stay inside. I live alone, so it tends to get REAL lonely. This has put me in a funk, but I’m looking forward to my nose being healed and being able to get back to normal life.

Friday was a whirlwind. In the morning, I looked at a few rental places as I’ve started my housing search. I’m a little stressed about this given I need to be out of here by 9/10. I got a call while looking at rentals that an ENT doctor had an opening for me that afternoon. I had to drive to Reston then to Fairfax after my realtor session to get my nose looked at. This concluded with the scheduling of surgery. Once I got home, I was so exhausted that I worked for a bit then spent the rest of the day/night on the couch. Most of my friends were doing things I didn’t feel up for, so I stayed in, did some laundry, stated a new show (“America Horror Story”), and laid low.

Saturday I got up mid-morning and did the usual TV, laptop, chores thing before heading to my “favorite’s” house to hang out. Wound up taking a nap then going to eat BBQ with him and his roommates. It was yummy and I was so full/tired that I wound up going home shortly after dinner. Another friend of ours stopped by to show us her motorcycle and I’m thinking, someday, I may have to get one. Everything was great… then it wasn’t. Late night occurrences led to very unfortunate situation with my “favorite” which has made things between us not so gravy ever since.

Surgery means no supplements. I haven’t been eating well either, which is undoubtedly contributing to my mood. I’m going to get right back on it once this nose debacle has been dealt with.

Today, I did the usual weekend morning TV, laptop, and chores routine after sleeping in very late. I had brunch with my “favorite” and a friend in DC, but after a few mimosas, I couldn’t wait to leave, go lay down, snuggle, and relax. Things weren’t very relaxing at my “favorite’s” place due to the tension between us from the night before, so I decided to come home and spend some time alone… which we all know I LOVE SO MUCH. SARCASM. He’s coming over tonight at some point to stay over and take me to the hospital for surgery in the morning. There’s that.

All in all, the weekend could’ve been worse and most definitely could’ve been better. I blame my injury for most things, but in the end, no blame is to be had and moving on is all that I can do.

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Day 9


 Cicely

Today has been mostly uneventful. I worked a little, but I also tried to rest and take care of my face. My eyes are starting to blacken up now from the inside corner. I figured it would be worse by now. I had therapy this afternoon which was mostly spent talking about my face and all the fun things I’ve felt since then.

My Thursday night championship team has a game tonight. My “favorite” is picking me up and driving me so I can keep taking the pain medication. If I don’t take it, my face doesn’t feel too great. I’m glad I get to go, but talking hurts my face so yelling likely isn’t in the cards. I’ll just be the quiet stats girl. Hah.

I’m in an okay mood today. Nothing too great or too bad, just steady. Face hurts and I’m tired from all the sitting around. Hopefully, I can be a little more active tomorrow.

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Day 8


 Cicely

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Yeah. It hurts. Not as bad as I figured it would. It’s interesting how when I look at this picture of my face, it doesn’t look that bad. I wonder if I saw this picture, but it was someone else, if I would think the same thing. Most people who have seen this picture have said it looks really rough. It was. That ball was hard, was hit hard, and hit me right in the face.

I’m feeling a lot of things today. Stupidity for putting myself at 3rd in the first place simply because someone adamantly suggested it. I knew better, but I did it anyway. Thankfulness for the people at the game who jumped to my side and helped take care of me. Luck as had I not been wearing sunglass or had my head been turned slightly a different way, things could have been much worse. Empathy for the poor guy who hit the ball. A teammate told me the guy was visibly upset and his father told me today he had to console him because he was very very upset. And many others I’m not going to go into.

SILVER LINING!!! I’m almost caught up on Bachelorette. I was starting to be told to go rest every time I responded to work emails, so I figured they can’t ALL be wrong. After this, I catch up on Rookie Blue. Well, my favorite may come over tonight though, so maybe I’ll be watching something we both like. We’ll see. Oh and they gave me Percocet.

I’m alive. I’m recovering. I’m medicated. Good day. Good day.

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Day 7


 Cicely

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It took a whole whopping 7 days to hit a bad mood. Womp womp. This mood is acerbated by the fact that I have not been very financially smart over the last few months and now it’s biting me in the ass. There seems to be so much to focus on that I can’t understand how some people have it all together. You have to think about finances, retirement, health, fitness, beauty, work, friends, family, etc. I start to focus on one and slip in the others. Maybe if I could afford to pay people to focus on things for me… alas, I cannot.  

Money can’t buy happiness, you say? I say you’re ridiculous, shut up, and sit down.

Oh, I should mention I got hit in the face with a softball tonight. Was playing 3rd (don’t ask why), hard hit took a bad bounce right into my face. Broken nose. Womp Womp. Here’s a pic and I imagine it will get worse before it gets better:

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Day 6


 Cicely

Today my custom built desktop decided to have a fit. I turned her on and she went into a strange disk recovery screen for Windows 8. After quite a while, she did some weird black screen, white text super scrolling speed demon shit then proceeded to boot Windows 7… which I have not used on this machine since 2013. UGH. Why is she doing this?! Now, I’ve got to try to find time to fix her, but it’s going to have to wait. I love to listen to music on her because she has the best speakers in the house. Ugh. #firstworldproblems

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It was a hot one out today. Well, I haven’t been outside since 7:30AM, but it was hot then and weather.com  is saying it’s 94 degrees out. I was supposed to play softball, but I decided to sit out as I’m still sunburned and generally just drained from this weekend’s superb activities.

Started a new 8 day today! Feeling a little sluggish and still haven’t met my health and fitness goals, so I’m getting back on that horse and riding it for 8 full days to get back in shape. My birthday weekend was fun, but MAN it did a number on my progress. 🙂

Wound up going to see “Ant-Man” with some friends! It was good!

That’s all today. 🙂

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Days 3, 4, & 5


 Cicely

Wooooo the past few days have been QUITE the whirlwind. I continued my birthday festivities with a massage on Friday afternoon then a National’s baseball game on Friday. It was so fun getting to hang out and to know fellow colleagues on my corporate softball team.

Saturday, I slept in way later than normal due to the late night before, but still got up and had a friend over with her baby, WHO IS ADORABLE. I cannot get enough of him! I wound up having to work about 4 hours Saturday because one of my client teams needed some surge support to meet a Monday deadline. I didn’t stay up very late at all becauseeeee…..

Sunday I floated the Shenandoah with some friends! It was nice to leave the phone in the car and just unplug for the afternoon. Of course my body is a little mad at me this morning thanks to the sunburn, battle wounds with the bottom of the river, and the DELICIOUS fried oreo sundae last night. We stopped at a really great seafood place on the way back and it was amazing. Here’s a pic of my sunburned knees (belly is burnt a bit too) and big ole boo-boo on my right shin. I’ll heal. 🙂

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Here’s to another work week. WEeeeee!!!!!

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Day 2


 Cicely

Day 1 could not have been more perfect. I went shopping for a birthday outfit and came up with this bad boy! LOVE IT!

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I also had my hair trimmed and blown out. It’s actually still amazing looking despite being slept on. Unfortunately, the blow out is going to end in a short bit when I color my hair. It’s been a couple months and is needed. New year of life and new hair! Can’t go wrong with that.

Dinner last night so AMAZING. 12 wonderful friends came out to wish me a happy birthday. This picture of the whole group isn’t the best picture, but I still adore it. We went to Landini Bros. in Old Town Alexandria, VA. I had a great time, everyone else said they did too, so I call this a success!

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I’m feeling so good today. I’ve got a softball game tonight against one of our rival teams… it can get a bit nasty so here’s hoping for a calm, fun game tonight. No rain in the forecast! WOOT! Rain lately… sheesh. SO many games cancelled I can’t even talk about it.

30 baby. Starting off better than I could have imagined!

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Today is the day…


 Cicely

… I turn 30. I’ve been anticipating this day for a while now. It’s kind of like “meh” now that I’m here, but I’m ready to get the festivities rolling. I took he majority of the day off work and just completed a nap. +30 rest points, woot! I’m getting ready to go shop for a birthday dinner outfit, get my hair trimmed, blown out, and eyebrows done. Then tonight is birthday dinner! So excited to see so many friends all in one place!

I’m feeling good today and about what is to come. Recently, I’ve started focusing on my health and fitness and it has changed my life. Excited to see what comes!

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